any good sites/places for info on how to help your child deal with the loss of a pet?
The reason I am asking is...my friend, Cindy who lost her kitty, son Joshua 9.5 yrs is really upset about Bailey 4 yrs being put to sleep ...he didn't get to say good bye and it's bothering him. The cat has been with him 1/2 is life. :bawling:
He is ignoring their other cat, Winnie and says he doesn't want him. :( I know it's only been a day and he'll be fine eventually...but any help would be great.
Bailey was a very special cat for many reasons. They got him after her mom died of cancer which helped with their grief...he was an ill kitten (which is why he probably got sick again). Cindy nursed him back to health....her son was there thru it all too. So in the past 6 years poor Joshua has lost his grandma, a 17 year old cat and a 4 year old cat.
He is so angry at the world right now...I don't blame him. :comfort:

Allie, this is so thoughtful of you! :hug: I think children's grief is often overlooked, and not given the attention it needs to help them through those difficult periods. How wise of you to notice.

I just Googled 'child grief and the first site I got has this page of different informational PDF files:
http://www.childgrief.org/childrenandgrief.htm
In the Greiving Children:What to Say, I was surprised to read this snippet:
"WORDS THAT CAN HURT
The following are a few of the potentially harmful comments that are often offered to children grieving the loss of a
parent:
• I know just how you feel.
• I know just how you feel…my dog died last year."

There are a lot more entries under this heading, but these two surprised me.

I've always tried not to say those things to people, but I never thought about them being harmful. It's good you want to read up on it. From what I've read so far, his reaction is pretty common.

Good luck. I hope you're able to help.

There are books that deal specifically with coping when a pet dies. I found one after my Cassandra died, and I started reading it on the way home.

I couldn't even make it all the way home... I just sat down on the nearest bench and started bawling. :(

It's important to remember that the five stages of grief apply to pets as well as humans. And I do understand that "I know how you feel" can be harmful -- because everybody feels differently about what happens to them and those they care about. There is no way for somebody to "know how you feel." Only you know how you feel.

I can say that & mean it tho...My sweet Winston died on the floor right in front of me in 2001.
Thanks Lisa for the info :hug:

You can go to www.petloss.com. It really helped me after Dixie died, you can even chat with some of the people. Maybe you can try to explain to Joshua that Bailey knew how much everyone loved him, and even though they didn't get to say goodbye, Bailey will always love them. You can tell him that when he thinks of Bailey, to remember the good times and try not to get upset. Also, The Rainbow Bridge poem tells what it's like where a pet goes when it dies, so reading that to him might help. They have a real story that the rainbow bridge exists on Pet Loss.

It was much like that with my Lightning, in 2004. She was lying on the floor at my feet, beside my computer chair, when she died. :(

But I don't know the exact circumstances of your loss, or you mine. And although we both loved (and still love) our departed kitties, neither of us knows exactly how the other feels about what happened.

I just meant that it can seem arrogant to say one knows how someone else feels -- especially a child. Children have a different perspective on life, and they may feel resentment or anger at someone saying they know how the child feels. To a child, every feeling is magnified, and they can't imagine anybody possibly knowing how they feel.

I guess as safe way to say that you can relate with someone's loss is to say...I know how it feel too loose a pet or whatever the case may be. Everyone feel something which is all on the same level. I don't think it's arrogant at all to assume that. ;)
My friend took some of my baby fish to put in her tank...I'm sure they'll keep him somewhat preoccupied.
My Winston died out of the blue...I was away and came home in within 20 minutes he passed. He jumped from my lap to across the room has a seizure and was gone. :wha: :(

RIP Winston
Sorry to be off topic, but how old was he? and do you have any pictures of him?

Gosh he was 3.5 years when he died. I got him when I first moved out of home.
I can take a pix of some of the pix I do have of him. I have ones all from film...leaves room to get photo album
Here's my sweet but strange Winston :luv1:

Gosh, he was a young cat! :shock: (I wasn't getting mad at you or calling you arrogant, Allie -- I just tend to go into "analysis mode" at times when I feel strongly about something that has touched me so personally) :hug:

In Lightning's case, it wasn't completely unexpected. She was 17.5 years old, and she'd been slowing down a lot lately. She was very clingy, and never went one inch farther from me than she had to. I think she knew her time was near and she didn't want to be alone when it happened. She and I were so close that she would sleep on my chest, and we could feel each other's hearts beating...

:luv2: Winston looked like a great cat! :kittyluv:
RIP Winston :( :lilangel:

:hug: Oh I know.

I later found out that all 4 kittens of Winston's litter died before they reached 4...it was feline leukemia. :(